I lost 2 good friends during my teenage time.
It was really difficult to accept I could loss friends through death at that time.
It was hard and I chose not to mention about them since then.
With ups and downs in life for so many years, I found myself needed to put in extra effort in almost all aspects in my life. Especially in education, I did not know how to enjoy the process of learning. I studied really hard was just to pass the exams.
Unconsciously, I told myself I did not deserve to have good things come so easy to me and everything should start from zero. Well, it clearly reflected in how I run my business. I always feel I have to start all over again for at least 7 times in the past 10 years!
Lately, the feeling of losing these two good friends’ episode came back and this time was a total let go!
During the self-healing process, a realization of “undeserving” (I didn’t know I have this part) as I saw I was so fortunate compare to my friends who went through hard time and passed away at that young age. I felt guilty because I could not safe them or prevent them to die. Those old stories of failure in almost all areas in my life came to live and hit in my head. I then learned about my self-sabotaged that made me failed!
One of the best healing methodologies is to treat the root cause of the problem, often we don’t see how it is related. Like friends’ death = failure in life? Well, our subconscious mind is very intelligent. It stores and linkup all our stories, feeling, secret etc. and most of the time we don’t even know it is there and affecting us. The key is to have the willingness to deal with what affecting us and let go at every moment. Then those undesirable pattern would no longer snow balling in our life.
Healing our past is an ART. Our wounds are often the openings into the most beautiful part of us. It gives us freedom, strength and wisdom.