Lately I have been pretty “drama”. I signed up a course that I always wanted to complete for more than a decade, I still ended up giving up after attended only 2 days!!!
It took me a lot of courage to sign up and also to withdraw from the course. Well, like my ex-course mates said I am a life coach, I preach “never give up”, but I gave up easily!! LOL That has made a great impact on me in believing my ability as well as my confident level before I made the final decision. Yes, yes, I quit easily as a life coach. Shame on me : )
After all the stress, I told myself I just want to do things that I enjoy and things that make me feel happy. I am no longer willing to take up any job that stressing myself to complete or not align with my belief. I may enjoy the same course ten years ago a little bit more, I acknowledge that people do change including myself.
After the dilemma in quitting the course, it swung me strongly towards singing bowls which I didn’t expect it would happen in this way. For a long time, I have been exposed to singing bowls. I have been using singing bowls in my life coaching sessions and have witnessed how singing bowl sessions could help people in many ways but I resisted to be a singing bowl practitioner. I fear one day singing bowl would replace my knowledge and skill which I have built up for almost 2 decades. I fear my past experiences and learnings are no longer important. So singing bowls are my competitors. Yea, yea, you can say I can integrate my work with singing bowl. Hmm… This is like we see how digital world is replacing printing industry. It is just my ego at play.
Now I am officially a singing bowl practitioner and I don’t feel I am anything lesser compare to before. I am grateful that I am able to be open to deal with my fear and failure. The more willingness I am dealing with my fear and failure, the more peacefulness I have gained. Thankful.