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change yourself to regain power

“Cos I feel there’s always a stigma and fear of coming to professionals like yourself” A client said to me. She definitely has “graduated” from seeing me for life coaching sessions.

She was submissive, a “Yes Woman” and oblivious about how her ex-husband treated her and her parents. In order to keep her children to have a complete family, she tolerated verbal abuse and mental stress. Well, life still goes on, she needed to do what she did until one day she could no longer take in any more stress…

This is a typical kind of client I have.

Some of them feel like seeing me is some kind of secret affair. As if I am a psychiatrist in the movies, I supposed dealing with people who gone insane. Something has gone very wrong!

Maybe it is in our culture, seeking for help is a form of weakness? Showing the vulnerable side of us is a form of weakness? And what is wrong of being weak?

To me, it is important for us to deal with our weaknesses, so that we can make improvement. If we live a life by allowing others to make us feel weak is even more dangerous as we have given our power away.

Simple way to find out when you need help to improve your life. If you feel resonant in one or more point mentioned below:

1. Sometimes you feel negative emotion (sadness, anger etc.) for the same matter, person or event, and sometime you feel you are ok when you suppressed your feeling.

2. You are a different person or cannot fully relax when you are with a person who could trigger your emotion.

3. Sometimes you can’t control your emotion, e.g. you need to hide for crying or can’t stop yourself when scolding or hitting someone.

We are not here to say who is in the right or wrong, it is a matter of how we can balance our life and stay true to ourselves. Many people already aware that something is not right and waiting for others or event to change. In fact, it is easier to make changes and improve our lives by changing what we can control, that is to change ourselves. By doing so, we regain our power!

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